You keep looking for proof of friendship, but in doing so you harm yourself. When you give something to your friends, do not keep waiting for a concrete response, a thank-you. When you really believe that you are loved by God, you can allow your friends the freedom to respond to your love in their way. They have their own histories, their own characters, their own ways of receiving love. They may be slower, more hesitant, or more cautious than you. They may want to be with you in ways that are real and authentic for them but unusual for you. Trust that those who love you want to show you their love in a real way, even when their choices of time, place, and form are different from yours. Much of your ability to trust your friends depends on your belief in your own goodness. When you give a gift freely and spontaneously, do not worry about your motives. Don’t say to yourself, “Maybe I gave this gift to get something in return. Maybe I gave this gift to force my friend into a closeness he or she does not want.” Trust your intuitions. Allow your friends the freedom to respond as they want and are able to. Let their receiving be as free as your giving. Then you will become capable of feeling true gratitude.
Dikutip dari Nouwen, Henri J.M., The Inner Voice of Love, Doubleday, 1996, hal. 82